It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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