Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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