She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am mentally ready for anal.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
