Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
