idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
