Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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