I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
