I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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