I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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