u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
