As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
