first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's rum buckets o'clock
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
