I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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