Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
