dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
