I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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