I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
