So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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