I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
