new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
