I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
