Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
