went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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