This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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