i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I should be sponsored by Trojan
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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