I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
