I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
