my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
