Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
