I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
