I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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