Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
