I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
