good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
