Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
