I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
