my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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