Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
