I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
