It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
