He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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