She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
