so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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