Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
