Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
