that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
