Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
