She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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