she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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