One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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